Harry Potter and the PreChristmas Pranks
by lawchan
Summary: Harry gets sick from a certain joke one night. How will his friends help him return fire?


**Harry Potter and The Pre-Christmas Pranks**

**by lawchan**

**Rating: PG-13**

**Summary: Harry gets sick from a certain joke one night. How will his friends help him return fire?**

Harry sat in his four poster bed in his dorm sipping on a cup of hot chocolate in his hand with a book on memorable quidditch matches in his other. He sniffled and blew his nose with a tissue, snuggling into the warmth of his bed more. It was a week until Christmas Break and tonight was a Friday. What better way to spend his free time than reading about upcoming models of bludgers. He set his beverage aside and looked up as Ron burst into their dorm room grinning from ear to ear and obviously out of breath from running up the stairs. Harry smiled and asked, "What's up with you?"

Ron collapsed on the floor in more fits of laughter. "Harry you have to check this out. Fred and George have gone just _too_ far this time." Harry rolled his eyes and put his book to the side. Whatever was going on down there was probably big since rarely did Harry ever hear of the twins going _too_ far.

The two best friends raced down the stone steps from their dormitory. Harry could hear laughter from a crowd of Gryffindors coming from the common room. When they got down there Ron shoved his way past them and to the exhibit that was attracting this large ammount of attention. When they finally made their way through to see what it was, Harry's jaw dropped in shock. A life sized card board cut-out of Professor snape sitting in an armchair. But that wasn't the shocker or higlight of the display. On top of Professor Snape's lap sat a seductive Draco Malfoy clad in only elf underwear and reinder antlers with a big red nose on his face that read: PROF. SNAPE'S CHRISTMAS BISH(1). Above both of their heads was a mistletoe (which was appropriate since they were captured in the moment of kissing).

The next thing Harry knew he wason his knees holding onto his sides trying to ease the pain from laughing so hard. This truly was Fred and George's bet work ever. "Where did you-How-When..." Harry trailed off not even knowing where to begin with questions. The whole common room began to howl in laughter again. Even Hermione who was sitting in an armchair with crookshanks had to let out a laugh.

Fred and George helped Harry up onto his feet. "Allow us to explain," Fred began. "We found a simple art spell in our charms books while we were cleaning out our rooms, and we found a charm that transforms art materials into other things-

"That's enough information, Fred," George interrupted. "We're going to make a fortune off of this. "Weasly's Wizard Ads. We Make Embarassing Advetisements."

Fred rolled his eyes. "We still haven't thought of a name or slogan yet, but this idea is rockin'."

Hermione came over to Fred, George, Harry and Ron-who were standing by the cut-out. Most of the students had went back to their previous activities and lost attention in the "old" cut out. Along with the portraits who had their fill of fun, went back to their normal activities in their frames. "You DO realize that if a teacher sees that you're in BIG trouble, right?" With that she covered the cut-out with a cover. "Do get rid of it before christmas break would you?"

She sauntered off back over to her chair and continued to play with crookshanks while still having a book glued to her nose. As she walked away George said, "Yes ma'am," sarcastically, while Fred stuck his tounge out.

"Well I guess I'm off to bed then," Harry announced. And turned away without waiting for anyone to reply. He wasn't feeling well the past few days. It wasn't a constant thing but more like an "on and off" type of thing. He didn't really think it was important enogh to go to the infirmiary for, his friends would just do what they always do: Worry. Which was why he was sitting in his room enjoying a cup of hot chocolate before this evenings "entertainment". He looked at his wrist watch and sighed when it was only 8:30, yet he was still so tired. He sneezed as he opened the door to his room and collapsed right ontop of his bed, feet hanging over the edge.

"Wake up, lazy oaf!" Harry grunted in annoyance as he was nudged on tthe shoulder to wake up. He was sleeping soundly but now that he was awoke he felt like a train wreck. "You okay mate?" Ron asked with concern written all over his face.

"I feel...horrible..." Harry mumbled and his face hit the pillow again.

Ron sighed and hoisted Harry over his shoulder. "Time to see Pomfrey now..." Harry didn't refuse. He knew when it was time to succumb to the powers of healing and since only Ron was in the room right now, he still had a chance to contain the news of his sickness.

"Ron...use the invisibility cloak..." Harry said weakly.

"Why?" Ron stopped halfway to the door.

"I don't want people asking questions..."

"Right...we do look a little weird, don't we?"

That hadn't even crossed Harry's mind about how they looked. He had just gotten used to being held in nice strong arms when Ron had lifted him up...wait why was he thinking of Ron as strong and warm??? "Ron, get me to the hospital wing fast..."

Ron walked slowly in the invisibility cloak trying not to slam into people and trip over the cloak at the same time. Also if he went this low he would have an excuse to be late for class. He had been under the cloak a million times, but rarely was he the one in the "driver's seat". Harry had went to sleep in Ron's ams on the way to the infirmiry. Ron looked down at his raven haired friend. He was so peaceful when he was asleep, his lips puckered up just waiting to be kissed. Wha? Since when did Ron have thoughts of kissing Harry? Well if he honestly answered that question, he could admit to several times. But they had all been in weird dreams of his that invariably involved kissing the scarred boy and nothing else...Ron decided to put it aside for now and continue forward.

He just missed bumping into someone when he came a round a corner. It was actually several people who almost collided with Ron (4 to be exact). The boy in the middle could be easily be identified by his arrogant smirk and snobby blonde hair as none other than Draco Malfoy. The two gorilla lacky's behind him were Crabbe and Goyle, and the skinny dark figure to the right was Blaise Zabini. Ron was about to proceed on to the infirmary which was only a few feet away, but he stopped when he heard something that caught his attention.

"We really got Potter good didn't we, Malfoy? Spiking his lunch with flu potion was just too clever. Your best Christmas prank in the history of Draco Christmas pranks," Blaise bragged. "I reckon he must still be in bed puking green slime out of his ears." All four boys bursted in laughter as the turned the corner, their laughter fading from Ron's ears as they got further and further away. Ron stood there fists cleched already planning his revenge, until he was snapped awoke by a cough from a sleping Harry. Yes, Ron would get their revenge. Oh-too-soon...

The weekend had gone by in a blurr, Harry thought. Friday he spent his evening reading about quidditch and sipping hot chocolate. Saturday he spent the whole day in the infirmiry vomiting, sneezing, and shitting uncontrollably until Sunday morning when he was released. It was now the evening of the last Sunday before Winter break and he was huddled in a corner with The Twins and Ron on a couch plotting revenge. How dare that blonde bastard make him sick! He just couldn't refuse toying with Harry. Harry was sure Draco would lay off the bullying by 5th year. But after Ron had explained his little discovery to the Twins-who didn't like Draco as much as pretty much anyone else on the planet-they pulled out the drawing board.

Ron plopped on the couch with a bag of chocolate frogs and a glass of cranachan(2). Fred helped himself to a chocolate frog while Harry grabbed for a cranchan himself and began stirring the whipcream. George took out his wand and hit a blank spot on the board making a diagram appear of the Great Hall. "This, in case you hadn't already recognized, is the Great Hall," he explained.

He slapped the diagram again making a stick figure draw itself onto the paper and sit down with a plate of food at the Slytherin table. Words appeared at the top of the figure's head with the title: Draco Malfoy. "...and this is our target," Fred finished as he bit the leg off of the chocolate frog.

_Slap_

Four Gryffindor stick figures appeared at the Gryffindor table with the names: Fred, George, Ron, and Harry. "Oh lemme guess, that's us," Ron added sarcastically as he stuffed another frog in his mouth.

"Bingo. We'll make sure to have front row seats as the punchline of the plan unfolds-hehe," Fred answered mischieviously. "We're going to make sure that potion of shame makes its way into his food. He's going to get up in front of the whole school and dance naked."

Harry's eyes widened at Fred's last statement. "Umm...why in his right mind would he do that?"

"He'll be under the influence of the potion of shame. It's said to make the drinker relive their most embarassing moment. The book said, 'Whoever shall drink this potion will relive their most embarrassing moment infront of a room full of peole, the witness(es) will only pity the victem'". Harry opened his mouth to ask how they would know what Draco's most embarrassing moment was, but was answered when George rached behind him and said, "I happened to get my hands on _this_." George held up a book that was titled: DRACO'S FIRST STEPS. Harry looked over to Ron and saw his eyes lighten up at the book.

Harry smiled on the inside at what could be in that book, everything from Draco's first steps to his latest report card had to be in that book. As tempting as it was to delve inside and obtain every secret within its pages, Harry had to make the right choice. "You guys, this seems a bit much..." All three boys stared at him as if he had grown another head. "Well...imagine if it was YOU who was about to relive your most embarrassing moment infront of the whole school."

"But Harry!" Ron shouted. "He has bullied you since the day you came to Hogwarts. You can't possibly-"

"I KNOW, RON!" Harry got up from his seat, and dropped his cranachan on the floor, making a mess in sticky puddle form. Harry looked down at the floor apologetically for his outburst as all three other boys were taken aback by it. "Just forget about it...I don't want to retaliate," Harry said finalizing the plan. He yawned and turned away without saying goodnight. He must have been tired.

"Well since when did he become so uptight?" George asked.

Ron shrugged. "Let's just forget it...he said he didn't want to retaliate, so..."

"He said 'HE' didn't want to do anything back, Ron. 'WE' however, have different priorities," Fred explained. Fred looked over to his other half and smiled mischieviously with him. Ron caught on and immediately counted himself in.

"Oh for goodness sake!" A nagging shriek could be heard from behind the three brothers. Hermione was standing next to the cut-out of the Snape and Draco pairing that was hidden underneath the same sheet and glaring at it as well. "Get rid of this thing, I almost tripped." She walked away with her bushy hair bouncing on her shoulders. The could hear her mutter something about lazy boys as she walked off.

"She could use a vacation," Ron said. When Ron looked at his two brothers they were grinning from ear to ear. "What?"

"Fred, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Oh, but I think I am, dear brother, but we couldn't...could we?"

"Well," George started taking Ron's half finished beverage into his hand and taking a large gulp. "I think most Scottish food is the result of a dare."

"Bottoms up, brother." The two laughed hysterically while Ron rolled his eyes waiting for them to tell their plan. It sucked to have brothers as twins sometimes. But on the plus side his twin brothers would come up with a plan that would bring a certain teacher and student to pure humiliation and shame. Ron smirked in satisfaction at the smile he would receieve from harry. Smiles from Harry always lightened his mood.

It was a casual Monday with a little bit of anticipation coming from most students not being able to wait for Christmas break which was in four days. Harry yawned, slightly tired from previously being sick and plus it was a Monday. He usually started off rough on Mondays. He and Ron walked out of Charms and were on their way to dinner.

"Man I'm starving," Ron complained. "Proffessor Flitwick's class always seems to make me hungry."

"That's because you always get hungry when you're bored, Ron," Harry replied teasingly.

Ron rolled his eyes as the two boys emerged into the Great Hall. They took their place with their usual friends. Harry sat accross from Hermione who had her face buried in a random book. Harry and Hermione both missed Ron winking devilishly at the Twins and them respond to Ron with a thumbs up. This meant that the dropping of the potion into Draco's food was a success. Ron could only imagine how many houselves the Twins had to bribe to get them to put the potion in a student's food. Fred and George looked over to the Slytherin table at Draco who was glaring at Harry's backside due to his quick recovery...

That glare would be replaced with an expression way more memorable in just a few minutes. Five to be exact. The teachers sat at their table unknowingly of the event that was about to unfold. Which was interesting on Fred and George's part since they had managed to sneak the cut out into the great Hall without a teacher (including dumbledore) findoing out. Ron looked away to steal a glance at Fred and George. George snapped the edges of his hands together to symbolize that it was "showtime".

_Meanwhile over at the Slytherin Table_

"That attention seeking bastard," growled Malfoy as he slammed his fist against the oakwood table and snarled at Harry's backside.

"Take it easy, Draco-your blood pressure remember? Here, finish your steak." Pansy Parkinson passed her 'master' a plate of food.

Draco looked at it without interest but decided to take a few bites anyway. Then, all of a sudden he felt funny. He felt strange like he was lonely and needed attention. He couldn't bare it anymore. Standing up from his seat he disrobed himself and took off his Slytherin sweater. People in his radius began looking at him.

"Draco?" Blaise asked.

"It's hot in here, that's all," Draco replied smiling taking off his tie as well, revealing his regular white dress shirt. He was halfway done unbuttoning that as he walked up infront of the Teachers table and his chest was completely bare of clothing, just like the Great Hall was completely bare of sound. People stared wide eyed at the center of attention and the teachers were too stunned to do anything but watch.

He began removing his shoes and socks and quickly toyed with his belt and pulling down his trousers. Now he was only in boxers. "Look at me everyone!" He shuouted through the whole room. He started doing random dance movies and swaying his hips from side to side, causing the whole room to errupt in laughter.

Ron howled in laughter while Herminone rolled her eyes in annoyance. She burried her face in her book again and muttered "honestly", ignoring everything. Pansy tried to hide her blush while Blasie, Crabbe and Goyle hung their heads in shame. They didn't know what had gotten into their friend but were all of a sudden ashamed to know their ring leader at the moment, but this was nothing compared to what was next.

Draco removed his last article of clothing leaving him completely exposed. He continued dancing as the whole school gasped in horror and some made squeals of delight. Pansy was now trying to hide her nosebleed and Blaise, Crabbe and Goyle were trying to cover the bulges in their pants. (3)

A circle of blue light emitted from the floor where Draco was standing. Then a thin glowing piece of cardboard displayed itself for all to see. Draco of course took no notice of it since he was still dancing and now he was dancing around it. The blood from Professor Snape's face drained leaving him as pale as the floor. A huge gasp could be heard throughout the room and students began to gossip to each other.

Snape and Dumbledore and McGongle bolted up and McGonagle put a robe on Draco and tried to drag him away, Snape and Dumbledore were working on the counterspell to get rid of the "artwork". It took a while.

Fred and George hi-fived each other. Unfortunately Harry caught it and glared at the two. All the puzzle pieces formed in Harry's brain. It was THOSE two. He'd have to deal with them later. Fred and George would have to play more pranks like this in the future, Ron thought.

The talk of this event didn't stop until it was time for bed, and in the Gryffindore common room Harry was giving the three Weasly Brothers a rant they would never forget. "I can't believe you two! I told you I didn't want you to do anything!"

"Harry you didn't do anything. It was all US," Fred replied smugly as he wrapped both arms around his brothers. "You're not the only one who hates Malfoy you know? It was more for us than for you." And with that the twins walked away leaving Ron and Harry in the room by themelves.

Harry turned on Ron. "Well what have _you_ got to say for yourself? You could've stopped them.."

Ron shuffled his feet and scratched the back of his ankle with his other foot. When Harry was mad like this it made him cuter. And when he was cuter Ron found it hard to function normally. "Like they said. You're not the only one who doesn't dislike Malfoy." Ron tried to do the same as Fred and George and walk away after what he needed to be said was said, but Harry wasn't having any of that.

"Like hell you're just going to leave! We're not done yet," harry fumed grabbing Ron's wrist. "You're my best friend! You're supposed to listen to me. If they find out that you were a part of this, they'll probably expell the three of you! You three probably made Proffessor Snape lose his job! When will I ever be able to trust you?"

Three sounds were heard in the room next. A fierce slap that rang through the air, a whimper of hurt that escaped Harry's lips, and something falling to the floor with a lod thud, which was also Harry. Putting these elements together clearly tells you that Ron had backhanded Harry who was now on the ground holding his red cheek and loking up at Ron in disbelief. It was Ron's turn to explode on Harry. "Why do you care so much what happens to Draco and Snape!? They've hated you since you came to Hogwarts and make fun of both our fathers, and you still continue to defend those bastards!? Why?" Not expecting or even waiting for an answer Ron continued harshly. "Then you talk about not being able to trust me! I did this mostly for _you!. _Most of the things that I do, I do for you, Harry! And you're saying you can't trust me? How long have we known each other? I'll tell you how long: 6 years. If there was no trust between us I wouldn't have the courage to do THIS."

On that final note Ron tackled Harry who was already on the ground and began ravishing the scarred boy's lips. It was uncomfortable for both boys at first but surprisingly Harry relaxed and melted into the kiss. It wasn't long before Harry gave in and began kissing back. Ron got up the courage to prod Harry's lips with his tounge waiting for him to take the invite. Harry accepted Ron's tounge and started massaging his own against Ron's. This was unlike any other kiss Harry had gotten from anyone. Better than Cho Chang's even. This was way hotter and not drenched with tears. Harry and ron were officially making out. When this realization had finally crossed Harry' mind something snapped in him and he pulled away from Ron's mouth leaving the red head looking confused. "Harry?"

Harry bolted up into a standing postion and scratched his head. "What the bloody hell just happened? You-you just kissed me."

Ron frowned and stood up as well. "You were kissing back!"

The two boys stared at each other for a long time before Harry broke the silence. "Let's keep going."

Ron's eyes turned into saucers. "What?"

Harry decided to use his actions rather than his words and lead Ron over to the sofa and connected his lips with Ron's. Their make-out session began again. Only four people knows what else happened that night on the ouch between the two best friends. Ron and Harry of course. And two other red headed trouble makers who were crouching around the corner snickering among themselves. This would be an interesting Christmas for everyone.

"Proffessor Dumbledore, I trust you already know that that cut-out was a fraud?"

"Yes, severous I am aware. I am also aware of the two who managed to sneak it into the Great Hall."

"Who were they? I'll give them detention for so long their grandchildren will be serving it."

"Aa...let's just live this matter to itself. After all it is the holidays." Dumbledore left Proffessor Snape in the Hospital Wing with a dumbfounded expression on his face. It was times liek these when Snape hated his job most. Snape glanced down at the sleeping Draco in his cot. He was sleeping off the potion, but even thought the potion would be gone he'd still have to live with his reputation not being the same.

The word potion ran across Snape's mind. He had given draco a flu Potion so Potter would get sick. He had recovered quite swiftly by the way. It was Potter who had made Draco do this, Snape thought. He left the Wing With a smile on his face nw that he knew who it was who had done this to his star pupil. And now that he knew who it was, detention was out of the question. When Harry Potter came back form Christmas break Professor Snape would have a propor punishment ready.

TBC

**(1): I don't mean Christmas Bish as in Christmas Bitch. That's not a typo. Bish is short fr bishonen and bishonen means pretty boy in Japanese. So there fore Draco is Proffessor Snape's Christmas Pretty Boy. I know that may sound weird when explained but it's a joke that makes the two characters look naughty, which works for the story.**

**(2): Cranachan is a Scottish delicacy. It is a traditional Scottish dessert. Nowadays it is usually made from a mixture of whipped cream, whisky, honey, and fresh raspberries topped with toasted oatmeal. Earlier recipes for cranachan or cream-crowdie are more austere, omitting the whisky and treating the fruit as an optional extra. Modern recipes have a high double cream content, while originally this was replaced wholly or in part by crowdie cheese.**

**Sorry Hermione wasn't involved too much in the story. But the thing about it is...she had NOTHING to do with the plot. I just enjoyed shoving her face into books and giving her one liners. So the best thing to do is just let the reader know that she exists and leave it at that.**


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